So you’ve scored an invite to a wedding. Congratulations. It’s a celebration, a spectacle, and a chance to throw back a few drinks while someone else foots the bill. But before you start thinking this is your chance to shine, let me hit you with a dose of reality. Being a great wedding guest isn’t just about showing up in your Sunday best and downing a cocktail; it’s about respecting the scene, the players, and most importantly, the main act—the couple.
Punctuality is Key
When it comes to weddings, timeliness is not a suggestion—it’s a requirement. Arriving late to a wedding is like arriving halfway through a meal and demanding the chef’s special. It’s rude, inconsiderate, and just plain thoughtless. You’re not just there for the free food and drinks; you’re there to be a part of a very specific moment. Whether it’s the ceremony, the cocktail hour, or the reception, be on time. It’s about respecting the schedule and the effort that’s gone into making everything just so. If you’ve got a history of being fashionably late, leave that habit at home. Weddings are not the place for your inner sloth to come out.
2. Keep Your Stuff to Yourself
Here’s a nugget of wisdom for you: the wedding venue isn’t your personal locker room. Don’t start plopping your stuff on chairs, tables, or any other surface before you’ve been told to do so. The venue is a carefully orchestrated space, designed to cater to the needs of the guests, the newlyweds, and everyone in between. Think of it like a finely arranged rock garden; every element is in it's place for a reason. When you start throwing your bags and coats around, you’re disrupting that balance. Moreover, the couple paid a pretty penny to have their space photographed - they likely will NEVER SEE IT WITHOUT GUESTS except for their photos. Your gucci bag isn't so cool that it needs to be on a table in their photos (FYI I will totally stash bags and jackets under the table when I'm photographing reception spaces if guests have placed them there before they should. I don't play with this.)
3. Respect the Seating Arrangements
Wedding seating charts are not mere suggestions—they’re carefully crafted plans. If you’re not on the list for a specific table, don’t just assume you can crash it. Respect the seating arrangements made by the couple. They’ve put a lot of thought into ensuring that everyone is seated comfortably and appropriately. This isn’t the time for playing musical chairs or making yourself at home wherever you please. Find your assigned seat, settle in, and avoid causing any unnecessary disruption.
4. Avoid White Like the Plague
This isn’t just an old wives’ tale—wearing white to a wedding is like showing up to a barbecue in a tuxedo. It’s a one-way ticket to the “I Didn’t Get the Memo” club. The bride is the star of the show, and her outfit should be the only one in the spotlight that’s white. Whether it’s a full-on bridal gown or just a chic white dress, you need to step back and let her have her moment. This is not about fashion rebellion or making a statement; it’s about common decency. Your outfit should enhance the occasion, not overshadow it. Stick to the dress code, and leave the white to the person who has every right to claim it. The caveat: if the couple has shared a dress code that specifically OK's creams, champagnes, whites (even if it's floral), THEN you may wear it. Not until then. Do not assume it's ok. Do not text the couple and ask if it's ok. Unless specified, no whites.
5. Be Mindful of Your Phone
This isn’t a photo op for your social media feed. If you’re sitting there with your phone out, live-tweeting the couples’s vows or snapping away during the first dance, you’re doing it wrong. It’s not just about the occasional photo; it’s about not being a distraction. Respect the professional photographers who are there to capture the day. Keep your phone away during key moments, and don’t let it become a nuisance. Your job as a guest is to live in the moment, not broadcast it. Trust me, your Instagram followers will survive without a play-by-play of the bouquet toss.
6. Mind Your Manners on the Dance Floor
So, you’re feeling the groove and the open bar has done its job. Great, but here’s the deal: the dance floor isn’t a free-for-all. Don’t be that person who overshadows everyone else with your questionable dance moves or insists on showing off the latest TikTok trend. The dance floor is a communal space, meant for everyone to let loose. Be considerate of others who might want to join in or enjoy their own space. If you’re the type who can’t resist busting out some moves, at least do it with a little self-awareness and respect for the crowd. Absolutely boogie down - safely, and not in someone's space. Remember, this is a celebration, not an audition for a reality show. And, for the love of all things holy, keep the glass bottles off the floor.
So there you have it: a crash course in being a stand-up wedding guest. Remember, it’s not just about looking good and having a great time; it’s about being a considerate part of someone else’s big day. Keep your belongings in check, stay out of the spotlight, respect the timeline, keep your phone away, mind your manners on the dance floor, and honor the seating arrangements. Follow these rules, and you’ll be the guest everyone remembers—for all the right reasons.
-Court
The Unapologetically Different Photographer
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