Your ALTERNATIVE Kid Isn’t a Gimmick: The Problem With Lazy Senior photographer's Responses

Stag & Bird Photo - where alternative senior photos are the norm and weird is welcomed.

When a parent hops into a Facebook group and asks for a photographer, they’re usually nervous, overwhelmed, not sure what to expect and just hoping to find someone who won’t screw up one of the biggest milestones in their kid’s life.

So when a parent says: “My daughter is goth, she’ll be wearing all black — has anyone taken goth-themed senior photos?” — she isn’t asking for beige, golden-hour, sun-flare family photographers. She’s not asking for someone who’s “open to trying.” She’s asking for a photographer who understands her kid’s identity, who can make images that feel like her.

But what happens - cue the chaos.

One hundred and thirty-eight comments deep and it’s a wall of bullshit.

• “ME!!” followed by a website link.

• “I can match any style.”

• “I haven’t shot that, but I’d love to try!”

• Random screaming emojis and ten exclamation points.

  
  

It’s like throwing darts blindfolded and hoping one hits. Of that 138 less than ten actually took thirty seconds to type out a response beyond a link and "pick me!"

The Spaghetti Problem

This is what happens when photographers stop treating client requests like conversations and start throwing spaghetti at walls to see what sticks. Parents ask for something clear, and instead of responding with relevance or intention, people just shout into the void: “Pick me! Pick me!” Literally.

It’s lazy. It’s disrespectful. And it tells me you’re not listening.

Because if you were, you’d know better than to tell a goth kid’s mom that you’ll “match any style.” That’s not reassurance — that’s erasure. That’s saying: “I don’t have my own voice, so I’ll just water your kid down until they look like everyone else in my portfolio.” or "I don't have any experience in this so I'll just guess."

That's the exact opposite of what senior portraits should be.

To be clear, it's totally okay to say "I don't have experience this style, but I'm experienced with a lot of seniors and I'm confident I can take care of your kid in a way that feels true to them." Because that shows intention, care and represents you as a professional.

Style and culture Is Not Cosplay

Here’s the thing: a goth kid in all black isn’t a novelty. Your artist child, your muscian that doesn't do the "school" activities thing... It isn’t a theme night at a Halloween party. It’s who they are. Their identity.

Their soundtrack. Their rebellion. Their comfort.

When I answer those posts, I’m not saying “sure, I’ll try it.” I’m saying: I was that kid. I lived in the margins. And now I get to photograph kids like I was, exactly as they are.

That’s not cosplay. That’s not a gimmick. That’s reverence.

So when "professional" photographers jump into the thread just to pad their chances at a booking, it’s not just annoying — it actively muddies the waters, makes it harder for the right families to find the right fit, and risks a kid ending up with senior photos that look like lies.

The Client Experience Matters

Parents: if you’re scrolling these threads, here’s what you need to know. A good photographer doesn’t just have a camera and a website. A good photographer has:

• Proof of work in the style you want. Not one moody photo on Instagram, but full galleries that show consistency.

• A point of view. You want someone who’s drawn to your kid’s vibe, not someone trying to assimilate them into their brand.

• An actual client experience. Photography isn’t just about images, it’s about making your kid feel seen. It’s the difference between someone barking “smile” and someone who sings along to their playlist while making images that feel like truth.

Why This Pisses Me Off

Dreamy, weird, cool senior photos can happen here in Kansas City.

Because senior year is a one-time milestone. There are no do-overs. If you waste it on someone who didn’t even read your post before copy-pasting their website link, you risk ending up with photos that feel hollow.

And your kid — the one who’s fought to be themselves, who’s shown up in all black, their trademark makeup, or nail polish or just a kid who’s not interested in beige boxes and fake smiles — deserves better than hollow.

The Bottom Line

To the parents: don’t settle. Dig deeper. Find the photographer who sees your kid for exactly who they are.

To the photographers: stop throwing spaghetti. If you’re clearly not the right fit, shut up and sit this one out. Let the right person answer. Because this isn’t about you padding your calendar — it’s about kids getting documented honestly, without being watered down into oblivion. Chase your clients and dreams, by all means, but give yourself a point of view, a strategy and some sense.

Senior portraits should feel like the senior. Unapologetic. Cinematic. Real. And if you can’t deliver that? Then for the love of everything, stop yelling “ME!!” You owe it to yourself and your brand to be better than that.

-Court

WE ARE THE WEIRDOS, MISTER.

About Court

Courtney Specht is the lead photographer behind Stag & Bird Photo, an award-winning Kansas City photography studio known for bold, cinematic storytelling and unapologetically different imagery. As a Kansas City senior photographer, Court specializes in creating senior portraits that go beyond cookie-cutter — capturing teens as they truly are, with authenticity, personality, and edge.

From moody goth aesthetics to vibrant, editorial-style sessions, Stag & Bird delivers senior portraits in Kansas City that celebrate individuality and milestone moments with intention. When not behind the camera, Court is building creative communities, leading styled shoots, and reminding families that photography should never feel like a beige box.

👉 Learn more at www.stagandbirdphotography.com/seniors